4 important principles to keep in mind when talking to children

Being a parent is a continuous responsibility that becomes more complete over time. Children rapidly change and grow, learn, gain more independence, and parents must also change alongside them. Despite the many ideas, products, and changes that exist in the world around us, the relationship between parents and children can either strengthen or break their relationships, in addition to affecting how they interact with the world.

Talking to children can be scary, but if you communicate with them in a way that maintains your relationship, even if your child is upset with you at that moment, you will still have a stronger relationship. In this article, we will tell you four important points to keep in mind when talking to children.

1.Tone of Voice When Speaking

The tone of voice used when speaking with children is very important because there is more meaning and context conveyed in the tone of voice than in the words spoken. Researchers conducting a study at the National Library of Medicine found that we can learn more by listening to the tone of voice. As parents, we often correct our children's tone of voice, but how much do we think about our own tone of voice?

Children need us to be firm with them, but our tone of voice can either reinforce what we are saying or cause them to become distracted. If we have a respectful, calm yet firm tone of voice, both ourselves and our children will have greater peace of mind. When we want to correct our children's behavior, they may remember the words we said, but they will definitely remember the emotional tone we used.

The emotional impact that children have after a conversation with their parents will either make them want to share their joys, questions, and problems with them or it will cause them to hide their problems from their parents. A small change in tone of voice can change our relationship with our children.

2.Age

The age of the child you are talking to plays an important role in how you speak to them. The tone of your voice when speaking to them should change from childhood to adulthood. For example, when talking to infants and young children, we use a calm tone of voice, and sometimes when conversing with teenagers, we use a more intense and assertive tone of voice.

It's no wonder that teenagers respond with anger. Children today have more access to information than in the past but are unable to fully understand it. Children may only have questions about sensitive topics at a young age simply because they are exposed to information.

In addition, talking to children about all topics at the appropriate age is also very important. Any topic can be broken down into smaller parts for easier understanding by children. Avoid expressing details that are not age-appropriate. The point to note is not just the chronological age, but also the developmental age, which is key and important. Thinking about what a child can understand can be very helpful.

3.Listening

When we want children to listen to us while we talk, we face a challenge. The reason for this is that we also need to listen to them. One good idea is to ask children how they feel about what we say.

Encouraging children to share their thoughts and actively listening to them strengthens their self-esteem, trust, and understanding. This is a two-way path. When we listen to children, we also encourage them to listen to us. Teaching children through clear examples is much more effective than telling them what to do and what not to do.

4.Recognition and Acquisition of Knowledge

Know Yourself, Your Child, and the Topic You're Talking About. Children often ask strange questions.

Know Yourself:

Are you one of those parents who feel embarrassed when their child asks strange questions? If so, take the necessary steps to prepare yourself for such situations beforehand. Do the necessary research and have a pre-determined ready-made response for when the need arises.

Know Your Child:

Is your child one of those children who ask a lot of questions? Answering these questions can help you understand how to communicate with children. Some children need their parents to talk more, while others need to be alone to find the necessary preparation to talk to their parents. For example, is your child facing a challenge like autism? Research how to talk about it before your child asks questions about it.

Know the Topic You're Talking About:

If you wait for your child to ask a question, you will be surprised. Often, parents stop acquiring the necessary knowledge and information after pregnancy. By researching different topics and how to approach them, we can help our families and at least have enough information when we need to talk about them.

The important thing is to gain knowledge about various topics before the need arises. However, we must be careful that there is nothing perfect in parenting. Fortunately, children are resilient and love us regardless of whether we do things right or wrong. Sometimes parents feel overwhelmed and defeated.

Apologizing:

Children need to see that their parents acknowledge, apologize for, and make changes when they do something wrong. Too often, we spend our days talking to children politely or even justifying insults to them. This is not right and is a real failure in parenting.

Apologizing to children creates trust and allows them to see our humanity and learn to apologize when they make mistakes. Once we realize that we have done something wrong, we must show the child that we are eager to change it. This includes showing our eagerness by working hard to ensure the necessary changes.

Highlight Progress:

Finally, highlight progress. When your child does something right, tell them. Let the child know that you are celebrating your own progress too. Parental pride in themselves is as important as pride in their children.

Often, therapists help adults understand the wounds their parents have left on them by helping them see their parents' humanity. This allows them to see their parents' struggles from a different perspective and often leads to forgiveness.

In the end, talking to children is something we often do more than any other daily activity. How we talk to children is very important. It doesn't matter which stage of parenting we are in, preparation is very important. From teaching children how to walk to talking about their first heartbreak, the sound of parents' voices will be in their minds until they find their own voice. By using the method mentioned in this article, we can remember to use the right and age-appropriate tone of voice for the child and know what we need to teach them.